Adult life is like. Childhood psychological trauma in adulthood
Most problems, conflicts and complexes in adult life are the result of childhood psychological trauma. Solving children's psychological problems can be difficult because people often do not remember or recognize them. These traumas affect our lives from deep in the subconscious.
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Parents often give children directives that traumatize their psyche: parental ideas about life, communication with people, parents and elders, while they do not know that they are harming the child. These parental ideas underlie children's psychological traumas and prevent them from living normally in the future.
Childhood psychological trauma and its consequences
Childhood psychological traumas develop into complexes and psychological disorders. Therefore, parents need to know them in order to avoid such mistakes in parenting. Here are the main types of childhood psychological trauma.
"Don't live"
This trauma occurs if the child often hears that his birth brought many problems: he was sick, behaved badly, was the cause of worries and nervous tension. Growing up, a child with such a directive follows the path of self-destruction. He engages in dangerous sports, which leads to permanent injuries, drinks alcohol, smokes, and takes drugs.
"Don't be yourself"
The cause of this trauma lies in the suppression of the child’s own “I” by the parents. His parents instill in him that in order to be loved, he must meet certain standards, follow specified rules and live up to their expectations. They set others as an example: “Take example from...”, “How well he does...”. People with such attitudes are dissatisfied with their own lives. A person suffers from a constant internal conflict - he cannot act in his own way, since this will violate the rules and parental directives.
"Don't be a child"
Seemingly simple phrases that adults often use: “Be serious,” “Don’t run,” “Don’t make noise,” can cause harm. mental state child. These phrases limit normal child behavior, causing psychological trauma. Growing up, this person is in constant voltage, he cannot allow himself to relax, rest, because he feels guilty for his “Childish behavior.” He is afraid to indulge his desires and needs. A person with such a directive has difficulty communicating with children.
"Stay Small"
This directive is given by parents who are afraid of loneliness. These parents are afraid that the child will no longer need them, that they will remain forgotten. Such parents have long forgotten about their personal lives; they live by the aspirations of their child. Growing up, a child with such an attitude will remain a child, and will devote his adult life to his parents.
"Don't think"
This attitude highlights not thoughts, but actions: “Think less, do more,” “Don’t be smart,” and so on. A person who is given such a directive is not able to think strategically and make decisions. Such people often abuse alcohol.
"Don't feel"
Very often you can hear the phrases: “Be patient, you’re a man,” “If you’re not sugar, you won’t melt,” but few people know that these phrases can be the cause of one of the most serious childhood psychological traumas. Such “orders” make the child think that feelings are bad. The child learns to suppress his feelings, but they do not go away, but accumulate and in adult life can result in serious psychosomatic illnesses.
"Don't"
Parents whose parenting style does not allow the child to perform independent actions: “Don’t touch, you’ll get scratched,” and so on. An adult child will have difficulties in starting new things, he will be torn by doubts, he will be afraid of everything.
Childhood traumas are very serious and remain with a person for life. It can be very difficult to recognize them yourself, so if you have problems, contact a specialist.
Childhood cannot last forever, youth is fleeting, you will become an adult before you have time to understand how to build a rocket, for example. So catch 5 main misconceptions about adult life that every curious girl has the right to know about.
Simply in order not to waste time on unnecessary things, to love yourself, but to soberly assess your abilities and persistently pursue the fulfillment of your plans. You can believe in the existence of unicorns all your life, but some things will never change, and your laziness and rose-colored glasses must match your reality.
You will do whatever you want
As a child, you are forbidden a lot, and it seems that all this is only because you have not yet reached a certain age. In fact, your relatives, teachers and other people who are inclined to philosophize give you angry instructions based on their own experience, and when you get older, you yourself will watch with bewilderment how girls younger than you behave strange and sometimes provocative. And remember that, as you grow up, you will not only study, but also work, so vacation for the whole summer will become a real luxury for you. Appreciate the holidays while they last!
Everything will change
Much, but not all. Don’t think that as soon as you turn 18, 20 or even 30 years old, your life will become completely different. You can move to live in another country or slightly change your hairstyle, get married, learn to fly an airplane, build a house, have children, you can start reading cooking books and handicraft manuals, start a new hobby and completely change your social circle... but at the same time you you can still launch paper airplanes into the sky, build snowmen and dream about the impossible. Remaining a child at heart and sometimes doing stupid things is important, because this is a part of you, a different you, a girl from the past, in which there is a place for cartoons, lollipops, Barbies and games of “mother and daughter”.
Parents will change their attitude towards you
It is vain and useless to believe that your parents will begin to treat you like a mature and understanding madam as soon as you step on the threshold of adulthood. Even if you become super successful, help your loved ones in every possible way and even find yourself next to them in difficult times to support them, for them you will most likely forever remain their “little girl,” irresponsible and too frivolous. Take this as a good fact-postulate, because you don’t choose your parents, more often than not they only want the best for you, they just sometimes get too nervous and worried.
Do you think you can become an astronaut?
As a child, you could believe in unicorns, Santa Claus and other fairy-tale creatures. You may still think Darth Vader is the one for you future boyfriend, and Superman waits for you every day near the school gates and one day will save you from all troubles combined. Hmm, let's do it this way, fictional characters remain fictional, and you build your future yourself. To fly into space in our time requires incredibly long and difficult preparation; not everyone can undertake such a journey. So, if suddenly you still cherish the hope of becoming one of the followers of Yuri Gagarin and exploring the unknown, you will have to work hard.
Time will go by just as slowly
When childhood ends, time begins to fly inexorably. So quickly that you barely have time to open your eyes while lying in bed in the morning before it’s time to fall back into sleep, on which you spend almost a third of your life. Why? There are more things to do every day, the level of responsibility increases to the maximum, and you have to be in a constant mode of multitasking and performing these most important tasks at maximum speed. Appreciate every minute, every hour, every day you live, learn to rejoice and put all the most pleasant moments of life into a treasury of memories so that it turns out bright, unforgettable, but most importantly - exactly the way you imagined it when you dreamed of become an adult quickly.
“Work like a slave, rule like a king, create like a god” - this statement by the sculptor Brancusi sounds like the biography of Winston Churchill, “the greatest Briton in history”...
Read in this article how he managed to find his calling and reach heights in different areas activities, make life interesting and rich.
Very often, growing up becomes synonymous with boring, monotonous work, which leaves no time for interests and hobbies. The result of such an “exchange” is predictable, but very sad: boredom, constant fatigue, anxiety and depression.
Unfortunately, many adults do not understand the real reasons for their depression and anxiety. They believe that fatigue comes from a large number of activities and try to focus on one activity, dismissing all others.
Using the example of Winston Churchill, his life credo and advice, one can see that it is not a matter of the quantity of activities, but their quality: more interesting work, in responsibilities that satisfy you, and in opportunities to create something.
And now more about what the great prime minister advised and how he diversified his life.
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Politician, consummate orator, Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1940 to 1945, journalist, writer and laureate Nobel Prize according to literature. Named "the greatest Briton in history" in a 2002 BBC poll.
Work like a slave: take action and find your calling
Find a job that brings you pleasure (find it without searching)
Churchill divided the "sane, industrious and useful" part of the population into two parts:
...the first, for which work is work and pleasure is pleasure; and the second, for which work and pleasure are one and the same. Most people belong to the first group and receive their compensation. Long hours in an office or factory are rewarded with a livelihood and the desire for various pleasures, which often take very simple and modest forms.
But Fortune's favorites are people from the second group. Their lives pass in natural harmony, they never have enough set hours to work. Every day is a holiday for them, and ordinary holidays, on which they cannot work, are perceived as an annoying obstacle that prevents them from returning to their calling.
Now young people simply hate being in the first group and are eager to join the ranks of the second. But so far, all the advice on how to do this - look around and find your passion before choosing a profession or life's work - is just empty talk.
It is much better to look for your calling, completely surrendering to some passion. It’s not a fact that it will turn out to be your calling, but this way you will more accurately find the path to it. This is what happened with Churchill.
He developed a deep love for English language and reading from early years, which foreshadowed his career as a writer. But other areas did not come so easily to him - he had to work hard to keep up in other subjects at school, and instead of attending university, he attended a military academy.
His writing career did not begin in early age, and all because of the real passion of his life - war. Churchill wanted to get to the front in any military conflict, and when he was not allowed to participate in battles as a military man, he got a job as a newspaper correspondent in order to still get into the arena of military operations.
When the public liked his reports about what was happening, Churchill decided to write a book about his campaigns. And already in the process, he realized that the work of a writer brings him much more pleasure than a military career. This is how he found his calling.
That is, Churchill did not sit at home, endlessly reflecting and searching for his calling. He did what captivated him and brought him pleasure, and through this he found his true calling, and he was not alone.
Many people have found their life's work simply by trying what interests them at the moment.
There is another cool way to find your calling, thanks to which Churchill found the second passion of his life - politics.
Instead of going inward, wondering what to do, he turned his attention to the problems that existed around him. At that moment the problem was the lack sufficient quantity honest politicians with imagination. And he solved this problem by joining the ranks of politicians with his own person.
Finding current problems helps you start your own business. You find a problem and offer people a solution.
And most often, you begin to enjoy it not at the very beginning of the career or path you have chosen, but already in the process of development.
The world belongs to those who act
When work really grabs you, you don't notice how hours of hard work pass. And that's great, because without many, many hours of work, you will never achieve your goals.
In any field you can find these “gurus” who promise you quick results in the shortest possible time. But all their tricks and methods will never lead you to anything worthwhile. Yes, you can make some money using hacks, but it takes more than a few hours a week to create something reliable, functional (and legal). This requires constant and hard work.
If you decide to create something worthwhile, be it your personal project or a career in some company, from time to time you will have to experience the feeling that you are incredibly tired, but cannot finish it, because it is your project and you are interested in doing it. If you don't have such moments, you are doing something wrong.
Whatever field you choose, primacy in it will always belong to the one who constantly acts, works and worries.
Even a job you love still feels like work
There may be an opinion that if you love your job, then it is perceived as fun and you spend every day fun and easy. If sometimes this is not the case, then you simply chose the wrong job. This opinion is fundamentally wrong.
Even if you get a lot of pleasure from your work, it does not begin to be perceived as constant entertainment.
Churchill always separated work and play, considering them two very different things. A job you love is still a job, and that means you don't jump out of bed every day with joyful anticipation.
And this is normal, because pleasure and satisfaction are found not only in games and fun, but also in challenging one’s abilities and overcoming difficulties.
Sometimes you even want to quit your favorite job
The fact that you love your job doesn't mean you'll never have the thought "screw it all," and it doesn't mean you don't sometimes want to quit and try something else.
Sometimes the task of writing something was not so easy for Churchill; on the contrary, it was unbearably difficult. When he had his own column, Churchill used to get into a terrible mood and show bad character traits, and when deadlines were pressing, the stress became simply unbearable.
The more your job suits you, the less often you experience these feelings and experience moments when you want to run away and do something else. The point is that such moments will still happen.
Look for opportunities in your free time
If you're currently doing something you hate (most of the time) and want to build a new career, start by looking for opportunities in your free moments.
Churchill wrote his first book in three-hour breaks while serving in India. He was 23 at the time, and all his military peers used this time to sleep or play cards. Churchill remained alone at this time and devoted his free hours to writing a book. The result of this decision was the beginning of his career in literature.
Many people started the same way: they devoted every free minute to a new interesting business, combining training or work in a company with work on their personal projects.
You don’t have to give up everything and completely immerse yourself in the business that you consider your calling. At first, it will be quite possible to combine it with other activities that are no less important at the moment.
Keep a routine
Churchill had a very strict daily routine, which made him incredibly productive. Creating and strictly adhering to your schedule will help you too, especially if you have enough tasks.
Concentrate
Churchill was incredibly productive, not so much due to the number of hours he worked, but due to the highest degree of concentration. Lieutenant General Jan Jakob was simply amazed by his ability to concentrate on something:
When his mind is occupied with a specific problem, he is constantly focused on it and no one can distract him.
Concentration helps to gain a clear vision and purpose. Don't do work for the sake of work, always set a goal for yourself. Churchill always set himself challenges, such as writing a thousand words a day, to set work deadlines. And during the war, as Manchester wrote, “his attention was directed only to Hitler, to the exclusion of everything else.”
Know your goal clearly, plan your strategy carefully, execute your plan - and victory will be yours.
Rule Like a King: The Great Role of Leadership
There is only one drawback in this approach: such a desire to preserve youth denies one of the important features of childhood - the need to influence reality, to change something in this world.
When a child is just entering childhood, he really likes to press the buttons of the switch that turns on the light. This is one of the first experiences when you influence something and feel your innate ability to change this world.
Growing up, people often forget about this ability and the satisfaction that comes from controlling reality. We become spectators who have no influence on anything.
But every person still has this desire, an itch, which can be calmed only in one way - to accept obligations, because in obligations lies power.
If people refuse to commit and choose to remain children, they continue to “flip the switch”, only now their switch is a computer mouse.
They can choose from menu items, but that's where their power ends. If there aren't enough options on the menu, all they can do is complain about life. Meanwhile, power, no matter how strange it may seem, gives peace.
The leader, the one who controls the situation, is calmer than the one who simply obeys and is a follower.
Studies have shown that a military pilot experiences less stress during a flight when flying an airplane on his own, all because he is in control of the situation. Therefore, even if the responsibility on you is high, in your soul more peace than those who prefer not to take on any responsibilities.
Thus, the energy of youth is not preserved by avoiding obligations and responsibilities.
The most pathetic adults constantly complain about the media, culture, politics and much more and yet believe that they can't do anything about it. The most happy people On the contrary, they take on enormous responsibility and enjoy the opportunity to change something in this world.
Wherever you decide to become a leader—in your family, among friends, at work, or in a cultural environment—remember a few rules.
Refrain from making sacrifices, do not regret hard work, do not seek dirty gain and do not be afraid of ill-wishers. And everything will be fine.
Always be ready to lead
In 1930, when Churchill was already in his sixth decade, it seemed clear that his chances of ever becoming prime minister were zero. When a British delegation of MPs led by Lady Astor visited Soviet Union and met with Stalin in 1931, he asked them about the political situation in England and especially about Churchill. “Churchill? - Astor exclaimed with a contemptuous laugh. “Oh, his career is over.”
When everyone else thought that Churchill could no longer be taken into account, he himself was ready to serve and did not give up his dream - to become the head of Her Majesty's government. He watched Germany throughout the 1930s and never changed his position to please the general public.
Instead of changing to please society, he simply waited for the world to accept his truth, and it did.
And when he finally occupied the Prime Minister's office, he felt that he was following "his destiny" and that "his whole past life was a preparation" for the tasks that now confronted him. By remaining true to his convictions and monitoring German activity over the previous decade, he could confidently say that he would be good in his post.
My warnings over the past six years have been so numerous, so detailed, and now so monstrously justified, that no one can contradict me. I also cannot be accused of starting this war or wanting to prepare for it.
Winston Churchill
You are preparing to lead, not in the middle of the storm, but in the calm before it. Now everything may be fine in your family and your business may be thriving, but someday this may end. Are you ready to take responsibility, guide and lead?
Speak the language
Words have great power if you know how to control your speech. When crafted correctly, powerful phrases and compelling arguments can literally change the world. Churchill argued that a person who speaks a language...
...possesses a power greater than that of the greatest king. He is an independent force in the world. Abandoned by his party, betrayed by his friends, deprived of his post, he can still control anyone with the help of this formidable power.
Be an example for your subordinates
Examples have even more power than words. Churchill didn’t just talk to the people, he seemed to have walked the path he was talking about. The strength of his moral standards was undeniable, and the strength of his character created an incredible effect. People could follow him to the ends of the earth.
Whether it's a father, a coach, a boss, or a spiritual leader, an example of a strong person doing the right thing is much more effective than hundreds of diatribes.
A leader who shows determination and courage does not even need passionate speeches to get other people to follow him and do what he inclines them to do.
Be prepared for people to try to overthrow you
Do you have any enemies? Fine. This means that you once stood for something in your life.
Winston Churchill
Once you realize that you are moving towards real change, critics will immediately appear who will try to denigrate you and dethrone you from your leadership position. Just take these attacks for granted. This is a sign that you are truly making a difference in this world.
Have the courage to face ingratitude
Don't expect people to thank you forever just because you did something good for them, even if it was a lot of good. People have a short memory for good deeds and prefer to focus on the negative.
After Churchill led his nation through six years of world war, the British wanted a new leader in peacetime. His friend Harold Nicholson once said: “This is human nature. When we reach the open sea, we forget how we clung to the captain during the storm.”
But Churchill only brushed aside such thoughts of ingratitude. Yes, he regretted that his service was shorter than he would have liked, but he had already done a lot of what he was going to do, and that was enough.
Create like God: an integral part of life
To be truly happy and healthy, a person needs two or even three hobbies. And they all must be real.
Winston Churchill
The secret of Churchill's incredible productivity can be considered a paradox, since it lies in the same active and productive use of his leisure time.
Churchill discovered that this was the only way to achieve many hours of productive work per day. If he noticed that the results of his literary works were becoming confused and unsatisfactory, he simply switched to another type of activity. After some time, he could return to writing again, invigorated and ready for new literary exploits.
Churchill believed that by periodically engaging in various activities, a person trains his brain well and has a good rest.
There is no point in telling tired “mental muscles”: “I’ll give you a good rest,” “I’ll go for a walk,” or “I’ll just lie there and not think about anything.” The mind will continue to do the same thing. If he weighs and measures, the weighing and measuring continues. If he gets upset, he will continue to do it. There is no use arguing with your mind in such a situation. One American psychologist said: “When you get upset for some reason, there is a kind of spasm of emotions: the mind has caught something and is not going to let it go.” You can only cautiously try to hint at something else while the mind convulses on the subject of past thoughts. And if this something is chosen correctly, if it really belongs to another area of interest, then the mind begins to gradually relax and recover.
Choose your hobbies carefully
Despite the fact that Churchill called hobbies an integral part of a fulfilling adult life, he did not believe that you can choose them just like that:
A hobby is not something you can quickly pick up in one day. Finding interesting activities for your mind is a long process. You need to carefully choose your hobby and maintain interest in it.
Churchill believed that an interesting hobby was needed not only by those for whom work and play are incompatible things, but also by those who truly loved their work. The most important element in choosing a hobby, he believed, was that the activity was different from what you did during the day.
It makes no sense to ask a laborer who has been sweating and exhausting himself all week to play sports on Saturday, such as football or baseball. In the same way, you shouldn’t invite a politician or businessman who has been working and worrying about important things all week to work and worry over the weekend, but on a different task or project.
Churchill also noted that, despite the great popularity of reading as a hobby, it is too similar to the daily activity of a person who makes a living by mental work to provide him with enough contrasting impressions.
In addition, Churchill advised choosing hobbies that involve both the eyes and the hands—crafts—as they best help restore mental balance.
Again, this is especially true for knowledge workers, as manual labor fills the gap in such occupations. In addition, there is an opportunity to create something, which is especially important for people whose work is not related to creativity.
And finally, Churchill was against the huge number of hobbies that some people take up simply to enjoy a new or unusual activity, and then abandon it. Discipline is important not only in work, but also in hobbies, since it sets the very way of life and thoughts.
Let's summarize:
Carefully consider the different activities and choose the one that suits you best.
Make sure that your hobby is radically different from your usual work activity.
Do your chosen activity long enough so that it can turn into true love your life.
Keep different interests at the ready and take a break from a boring activity without regrets
Boredom was a threat to Churchill's peace of mind. Winston saw boredom as a waste of an already short life, and when he felt boredom setting in, he made sure to take a “ruthless break” and choose a more suitable activity.
Any activity could be a cure for boredom: dictating a letter, singing Gilbert and Sullivan operas out of tune, or laying bricks in the garden on Chartwell... He always had a whole list of possible activities in stock: reading a novel, feeding a goldfish, analyzing what was written in newspapers or pathetic speeches about England's great past.
Modern adults sometimes get stuck in tedious activities, not even because they have not found an interesting hobby for themselves, but simply because they do not even suspect that they are bored.
IN modern world, where at any moment you can sit down at a computer or take a smartphone, we don’t even understand that we are actually wildly bored, and useless surfing is just a way to distract ourselves from boredom.
You are simply wasting time on useless distractions, and there is no time left for interesting activities. Therefore, the ability to identify boredom, mercilessly interrupt and do something else is very important, in particular for freeing up time for worthwhile hobbies.
Delegate tasks if possible
Of course, Churchill's super productivity was not due solely to his enthusiasm and ability to concentrate. He had a whole team of assistants who solved the main problems and thereby freed up space in his schedule for more important matters. He didn't clean his house, cook food, or go shopping.
Some people think that if you delegate your affairs to someone else, in other words, dump your affairs on others, this can change your character for the worse. However, an analysis of the lives of many great people shows that for the most part they knew how to delegate their affairs and used it very often.
After all, would the English nation have benefited much if Churchill had raked leaves in the garden instead of writing speeches on a Saturday morning?
In addition, outsourcing everyday routine tasks allows you not only to devote more time to work, but also to find more time for hobbies, which, as we said above, are sometimes no less important than the work itself.
Yes, of course, most of us are not wealthy enough to pay people to do all the routine things for us. But perhaps you can find money for some of them: pay for cleaning your home and office, delegate some business to your employees and relatives.
Remember: you are freeing up your time, which can be spent much more productively than cleaning the tiles in the bathroom.
Taking a decisive break from boring adulthood
Many adults are now bored, have little rest, and feel anxious and depressed. Churchill was prone to melancholy, but he managed not to succumb to its attacks due to work that brought him satisfaction, interesting hobbies and no less interesting responsibilities.
To combat bad moods, periods of boredom and idleness, Churchill always used the method of hard breaks. The bodyguard tasked with keeping an eye on Churchill once remarked:
He can start moving at any moment, without warning. If he encounters boring people during dinner, he will be polite and tolerate them for a while, but then he will simply give up and leave. If the movie he is watching is boring, he will not force himself to watch it to the end - he will simply get up and leave, and it does not matter who he came to the screening with, even Mr. Franklin Roosevelt himself.
Sometimes the time comes for a decisive break from the flat and boring adult life. Our work, responsibilities and free time can be difficult, stressful and filled with problems, but not boring.
Someday you will die. But until you're in the grave, don't let boredom get to you.
Stories about ten classmates who were friends until their gray hairs will most likely remain only in films. At one not-so-wonderful moment, you will discover that with many of those with whom you shared your most intimate things. And all your new friends are your colleagues. Because in adult life you have neither the time nor the desire to get involved in adventures, since you are generally tired of people.
2. You will have to develop a system for evaluating yourself
As a child, you get used to the fact that there is always a moderator of your behavior next to you. The teacher gives grades, parents give candy or a belt. And you learn to balance between personal interests and attempts to please an adult, but at the same time you see a framework within which you can return if something happens.
In adult life, there will be significantly fewer guidelines and you will have to develop them. There are some things you won't be praised or scolded for, and you have to know for yourself what is acceptable and what is not in order to continue to respect yourself.
3. Fear of doctors does not go away with age.
You used to be afraid of the doctor because he would look into your mouth and give you a painful injection. Over the years, the fear has not gone away, there are simply more reasons for panic.
4. Your body will betray your age.
From the point of view social life 25 is the new 18; at 30, life is just beginning, and one cannot dare to call sixty-year-olds old men and women. But your body will think differently. One day - and quite early on - you will feel that something is wrong with him. In another couple of years, you will know exactly what is wrong with him, and realize that it will only get worse. You will have a first aid kit with medications for all occasions, and you will know exactly where your compulsory medical insurance policy is.
5. Your metabolism will change
It doesn’t matter how much you could eat and not gain weight: a handful or a bucket. As you age, you will have to eat less to maintain weight because your metabolism...
6. It's impossible to feel old enough.
The argument “when I become an adult” will never lose its relevance, it’s just that one day it will become embarrassing to say it out loud. No miracle will happen on the day you turn 18, 21, 30 years old. You just one day find yourself in a difficult situation, decide to ask adults for help and realize that the most adult here is you.
7. Even your dream job is first and foremost a job.
The things you love will sometimes annoy you, and this applies to work too. Your dream position will require a lot of work and take up a huge amount of time. The difference between great work and just work is that you will at least sometimes be thinking about what you are doing.
8. People won't interfere in your life any less.
The hope that as you get older they will finally stop lecturing you will not come true. Everyone around you will still think that they know better how to live your life. Only if previously for approval it was enough to study well and not dye your hair green, then now the list of public expectations will not fit in a notebook of 48 pages. At a minimum, people will think that for some reason you are interested in knowing their opinion.
9. You will discover gaps in technical literacy.
You can be surprised all you want that parents have never learned to write SMS, until you discover that you yourself are several steps behind teenagers. After all, why master new technology, if the old one works great?
10. You will dream of solitude
A little adulthood and a fun holiday in Ibiza will no longer be a priority in your holiday plans. Your choice is a remote village somewhere in the forests of Finland, or better yet on the Moon, and so that mobile communications there wasn't.
11. You realize that everyone is mortal.
None of your relatives bear the surname MacLeod, so you always understood that your parents would die sooner or later, and so would your life. But with age, this fact moves from the realm of knowledge into a clearly realized inevitability. You will sympathize with friends, receive messages about the death of classmates, read the news and know that any moment of your life could be your last.
12. Successful pop and football stars are younger than you
In many professions, 13 years is the age when it’s too late to start. But you continued to secretly hope that a model scout would meet you on the street and be speechless from beauty, or that your passion for street football would develop into something more. And then you suddenly discover that even the contestants on scandalous TV shows are younger than you, not to mention the real rising stars.
13. Good grades at school and university do not guarantee a successful career.
Red covers of education documents do not guarantee anything at all. They will only look at your diploma government agencies, because they have a strictly regulated hiring procedure. In commercial companies, it is more important to have an up-to-date . And it is quite likely that yesterday’s poor students will manage excellent students, and not because of connections, but because they really know better what to do.
14. You can't buy everything for yourself.
As a child, it seems that if you had your parents’ money in your pocket, you would buy yourself a stuffed puppy, a model of a tank, fashionable jeans, the latest model of a computer, and basically everything you want. But, firstly, as you get older you will realize that you simply don’t have enough for everything. Secondly, you no longer need a stuffed puppy and a tank model.
15. You can eat sweets for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you won’t
Sweets are an inexpensive pleasure. They are more affordable than vegetables or quality meat. But you will often eat chicken with buckwheat instead of chocolate, because now you know everything about calories and...
16. You can throw away the ice cream because it doesn't taste good.
Even your favorite delicacies will be divided into tasty and tasteless for you. For complete happiness, just ice cream is no longer enough for you, you need the same thing.
17. Love doesn’t have to be one and last a lifetime.
Parting with your first love will be very difficult for you. Most likely, you will even decide that you will never experience such strong feelings again. However, you will fall in love again and feel very happy.
18. Birthday is not such a fun holiday.
Even if you do not experience any complexes about the inevitable growing up and openly state your age, there will be dozens of people around who can overshadow any holiday. They will say what it was time to do at your age, and what is now forbidden, joke about old age wrinkles and gray hair, hint at a quick walk towards the cemetery. And when you say that you will figure out for yourself whether to wear a miniskirt after 25 and whether to ride a bicycle after 40, you will be considered a boor. Therefore, the birthday will become, first of all, a holiday of unpleasant communications.
19. You can stay without a family for a long time and not suffer from it
As a child, it seems that 25 years is a very old age and by this time you need to start a family and have children. At the same time, at almost any age you can find that.
20. Parents’ bad predictions will not come true.
Your life will turn out at least normally: the apartment will not become overgrown with dirt, you will find a normal job and will be able to be responsible.
What things from adult life came as a surprise to you? Share in the comments.